sudah lebih seminggu hal itu berlalu. yet, there is not a day i won't thinking about you.
it was hard to face the truth that you don't love me like you used to.
in fact, lagi hard to face the reality that i had to live without you. like you said, life should move on.
i'm doing everything u asked me to do. letting you go, live without you and try to accept the fact that i have to go on without you by my side.
there's no one to turn to. no one to argue with and no one to love anymore.
i'm left here. empty. broken. with a hole in my heart and nothing seems normal to me.
i try to be brave, remind myself that this will be over. the feeling will faded away in times.
but as many as i try to move on, there will be a flow of our memories flashing back every time i try to forget.
how to mend my heart? i feel alone, scared and empty.
i build my life around you. planning future with you. and to see all of that trash away, makes my heart ache some more.
and every time those memories flash back to me. i cant breathe. tears streaming down heavily. and the fact i couldn't be with you anymore. makes me cry some more.
dear R, i try my best to be whatever u asked me for. even though u said that i will be fine. i'm not. i want to. don't get me wrong. i want to be fine again. i want to be ok again. and accept with light heart that breaking up with you easily.
but i cant. no matter how i force myself, telling myself that everything will be ok. the feeling inside want to burst mcm paip bocor.
and then, as always, i cry heavily. it's hurt you know. to be the one who left behind.
coz i know, i'm the only one who remember all the memories between us.
i'm the one who fight as hard as i can to save the relationship.
and i'm the one who begging u on ur knees to come back.
yet, all u can said to me, all the things i did, is a gamble. you gave something to gain something in return.
i don't know if ur eyes is blinded by ur judgement. but my sincerity and love doesn't show at all at ur eyes.
all i know, i'm the one that should be blame. i'm the one who do not treat u better,that is why u walk away.
i try my best to make u happy, maybe i try too much to work it out. but my good is not good enough for u and that is why u walk away.
u promise the world, but now u leave me here alone.
u promise u won't leave me and ask me to not leave u too but now who leave who?
u promise u won't break my heart and i won't break ur heart. but now, my heart still breaking.
u promise u will love me forever, but now, u said u don't love me anymore.
if only i can give my heartache to u so u will feels what im feeling now
and u will stop saying it will be ok coz it's not ok
i know i won't be ok for now. in times, yes.
but for now, let me cry a river, let me swear as much as i want, let me be sad and gloomy, let me be whatever i want to be or feels. coz that will be the only way i mend my own heart. the way i know.
